Dad

[24 Feb 2017]

Dad (1925-2017) and Mom in 2005

We received the news tonight that Dad passed away. It was expected, due to his rapidly declining health in the last week or so. Fortunately, he didn’t have to tarry long, and was alert up until the last day or so. Mom and my sister Jayna have been at his side constantly, tending to his every need. He was able to be brought home from the hospital, to spend his last moments in the place where he could feel the most comfort and love – alongside his beautiful and loving companion of nearly 69 years.

I could go on at length about my thoughts and feelings for Dad. He was a perfect father for me, and a perfect grandfather for my children. With his inquisitive spirit, and interest in everything, I imagine that he might just take a quick vacation from his new work on the other side to come down here and see what it is that Molly and I are up to. He would be very welcome.

Here is the tribute to him that I just sent to Mom to be shared at his funeral, since Molly and I won’t be able to be there:
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As most of you know, Molly and I are serving a mission in Bolivia, and so we can’t be there to share our love and memories of Dad with you personally, but I appreciate so deeply the opportunity to share those things with you.

All of us are so very blessed to have known Dad, to have worked with him, to have received his love and service, to have been taught by him. Let me share with you just a few of the things that I have seen and been a part of. Hopefully it will bring to your minds some of the things that are so great about him.

When I was fairly young, I remember Dad telling me not to “vacillate”. Now who uses words like that with an 8-year-old? He wasn’t trying to impress me with his vocabulary, he was being precise, and using the right word for the right purpose. Dad was always precise. If you didn’t do something right, he knew that it would have to be done again. And he didn’t want to waste his time or anyone else’s. He always did his best to do a job right the first time, and he taught me the value in that. His work always spoke for itself – complete, accurate, precise. When he did something, you knew it would last for a very long time.

We went to Yellowstone with the family, towing a rented trailer (mobile home) behind the old Ford. I remember the bears and other wildlife. But one day, while stopped on the highway watching some elk or moose, a bear came up behind the trailer, and ripped off a utility door, probably smelling food inside. The door was small, and the bear accomplished little more than damaging the door. But Dad was so concerned about the owner and his property. I was too little to know what was done specifically upon returning the trailer, but I know Dad made it right with the owner. He didn’t like to borrow tools, for fear that the tool might be damaged or lost. In that case, Dad would have purchased a new tool for the owner, one that was better than the borrowed one. He had tremendous respect for the property of others, and taught us to have that same respect.

Dad loved to observe the outdoors. We went on drives often, which I enjoyed, but my brothers didn’t, since they got carsick. I ended up in the middle of the backseat, but I still loved it. Every once in a while, on some winding mountain road, Ralph or Richard would be carsick, so Dad would stop the car and let us walk up the road a ways, coming up slowly behind us after we’d had time to get the carsick (or maybe the wiggles) out. I loved it that our family vacations were always to the National Parks – Yellowstone, Arches, Bryces, Canyonlands, Rocky Mountain National Park, etc. I didn’t get to Disneyland until after I was married, and it wasn’t anywhere near as enjoyable as living in a cabin at Bryce Canyon for a couple of days with my family, watching the chipmunks, and hiking in the beautiful surroundings.

Dad was an observer of things, always inquisitive and learning. He didn’t just accept that something worked, he figured out why it worked. He built radios and televisions, he built our home in Heber, and learned carpentry, plumbing, electrical work, etc. Everything necessary to build a house was learned with the same precision and exactness that he applied to every task in his life.

Likewise, he built a home and a family. He taught us obedience, integrity, and honesty. It didn’t matter how bad it hurt to tell the truth, it was always, always, the right thing to do. I can’t imagine that there is anyone who has been the recipient of a little lie, a white lie, a shaded truth from Dad.

I have come to appreciate Dad’s quiet, hidden acts of service throughout his life. He never drew attention to himself, going about doing good without fanfare. When I was about 12 years old, though, I was the benefactor of a visit, with him, to a family in need. I don’t remember the family, now, nor the circumstances, but I do remember the feeling of love and pride as I saw him go out of his way, to do something that needed to be done, but would never be known by anyone but the family in question. He continued doing these little acts of loving service throughout his life, and I’m sure he is still doing it as we commemorate his noble, honorable life now.

When I married Molly, she went out of her way to express her love for him in her way – hugs. And he let her do that. We weren’t a demonstrative family that way, but he accepted that, and came to look forward to her hugs. And to share them with his children and grandchildren.

As grandchildren came along, he loved them, and hugged them, and played with them. As he became restricted to a wheelchair, he didn’t let that change anything. He continued doing every little thing he could do for himself, while involving his grandchildren in his projects, like his train.

In these last few years, I have seen love and strength and patience beyond belief. Trials have come, and have impacted his physical body without changing his diligence, his patience, his love, his dedication to service, his example of being a dedicated and loving husband, father, and Son of God.

We’ll miss you, Dad, but will look forward eagerly to a sweet reunion, with hugs, on the other side of the veil. You will be busy there, without the impediments you’ve had here in the last few years, serving, loving, teaching, and learning. You have been, and will continue to be what you have always been here to your family, friends, and others - a good and faithful servant of Our Father in Heaven.

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The world needs more dads like my dad. Constant, unassuming, loving, kind, full of service and sincerity.

This is Molly, I just want to add some of my thoughts about this great man that I love dearly.

It's hard to imagine him gone. He lived his life to the fullest right up to the end with still more things he wanted to accomplish. He never let grass grow under his feet. He was always busy even when others would have given up. Even yesterday when they brought him home to die, he wanted to look at the parts he had ordered for his trains.

He was one of the best men I know. He never ever would tell a lie, even if it was to make someone feel good, it wasn't worth it to be dishonest. He would always choose to do what's right no matter how hard that might be. He chose to not complain even when life got very, very hard and many others would have complained and or given up, he didn't.

He took really good care of his dear wife and Eternal companion. He always made sure her needs were met. When any of us came over for a visit he made sure that we were not a burden on her and if he felt we were, he would let us know it was time to leave.

He always treated me like a daughter and never judged me or tried to tell me how to do things.

 He thought deeply about everything, the gospel, the way things worked, the beauties of the earth, how to make things better, what he could do to lessen the burdens of those around him, how to make things easier for his wife and so, so, so much more.

He loved his family deeply. It was hard for him to show his love in words, but the last years of his life, he made a point to let us know.

He was one of the most humble men I have ever known. He was willing to submit to whatever came his way and do what was needed, not complaining and not shirking.

I'm so grateful that I know him and that my children grew up with him as an example, that they got to be in his home and play with him and listen and learn from him. I'm so glad he is the father of my husband, that Charlie has inherited a lot of his qualities as well as chosen to cultivate a lot of his qualities.

I love this man deeply and I know that I will always be a part of his family and some day he will have to run from me like he used to because I am going to throw my arms around him and give him the biggest hug ever.

Our Casita

[22 Feb 2017]

From the street view our house just looks like a garage door set in a wall, but when you open that door you see a courtyard with two garden areas in the middle. Our landlord is a bit of a gardener and he has tomatoes, corn, peppers, and much, much more growing in our courtyard.

Entrance to our apartment

The courtyard – our apartment is at the end on the second floor.

Our washing machine – hand driven.

There are two levels, soon to be three when they get the rooms finished upstairs. We are on the second level. There are two stairways going to the second level. Our landlords, or dueños, live on the second level as well.

We have six rooms, all with a door that opens onto the courtyard, or the balcony in our case.

From the left – the bathroom, our bedroom, the “clothes drying room”, the living room, the dining room, and the kitchen.

We will start with the kitchen. It is painted a cheery yellow and there is a window over the sink that looks out onto the courtyard as well as the beautiful red mountain. The sun rise is amazing from this window. Our windows don’t have screens, there are very few bugs. There is however, a lot of dust (which I prefer to bugs). In our kitchen we have a stove, a little refrigerator, a set of shelves and a small table with shelves underneath all that we bought at the market. There is also a good counter space with a cupboard underneath. We also bought a microwave and a blender. So you see I pretty much have the comforts of life in the kitchen. The only difference from home is that there is no hot running water, so my tea kettle is always full of hot water. Every other day, we don’t have running water into the kitchen, so I have a 20-liter bucket full of water that I can fill my tea kettle with to have clean hot water to use. I have already made noodles, cookies, and bread, along with the normal stuff in my cheery yellow kitchen.

The kitchen (panorama view, which distorts it a little). Note the pass-through window in the wall on the left.

The next room is the dining room. It is painted a lovely beige color. The unique thing about this room is that there is a little window high up on the wall, not to see out of but for light. It is made up of glass blocks. The other feature is a square opening into the kitchen to pass dishes of food through. We bought a little table and four chairs.

The dining room. Who needs more than a table and two chairs? Note the little pass-through window in the wall on the right.

Next is our Living Room. It is a light orangish color. Our District President knew we needed furniture, which is hard to find in the market here. He was in Oruro, where you can find furniture, and called to see if we wanted him to buy some for us. He sent us some pictures and we made our choice. He not only bought it but had it sent by train to Tupiza and then picked it up and had it delivered right to our door. He and Elder Lyon carried it up the stairs. It is a four piece set. It is black and grey fake leather, one piece seats three, one seats two and one seats one and it came with a little coffee table. It looks very nice in our living room. They are not very tall, but then again, Bolivians aren’t very tall either. We entertained 8 young missionaries in this room and we fit beautifully.

The living room. The couches are pretty small.

Our next room we use to dry our clothes, for now. Our washing facility is a basin in the courtyard. There are clothes lines for drying, but some things we prefer to dry indoors. We bought three coat racks that we connect with the wooden handles of our broom and mop that we hang hangers on. It takes a while for things to dry due to the lack of ventilation, but it works for us. This picture was taken while the room was used for staging the build of the wardrobe. It now has some coatracks and a fan for drying the clothes.

The clothes drying / project room. This was the wardrobe before assembly.

The wardrobe after assembly.

The next room is our bedroom. It is the largest of the rooms. It is a lovely orange color. We have a queen size bed that one of the branch presidents is building a frame for, so for now the mattress sits on the floor. Charlie has built us IKEA style (meaning you get them in boxes and put them together yourself. They come from Brazil, and aren’t quite the fit and finish of real IKEA) night stands and a wardrobe. They are white and lovely. The wardrobe holds all of our clothing and is quite large. The only way to move it out would be to dismantle it, so we hope our landlord wants to keep it when we move. We also have a table that Charlie uses for a desk. We are waiting on a table to come available for a desk for me as well. It is a lovely room and it is right next to the bathroom.

The bedroom. We’re waiting for a frame for the bed, and a desk for Molly. The newly finished wardrobe is on the left.

The bathroom is bluish green in color. The toilet and sink are green. Charlie rigged us a shower curtain to help contain the water when we shower.  We turn the water on and then flip an electrical switch on the wall to heat the water. I was a little nervous about this before we got here, but it is not a problem at all.

The bathroom (panorama view makes it look bigger than it really is).

That is our casa. We feel very safe and happy to be here. We can catch the bus right down the street. There is a little tienda (store) across the street where we buy our juice and water. The owner of the store knows us and knows what we want. We drink a lot of juice and water. There are also several places close by where we can buy rotisserie chicken, which is the safest way to buy chicken here and it tastes pretty good too.

The view from our casa is quite spectacular.

The view – the pointy, red mountain is the Cerro de la Cruz (hill of the cross), and the one just to the right in the distance is called Elephant Hill.

Can you hear me now?

[21 Feb 2017]

One of our biggest concerns about coming back to Bolivia, and being assigned way out in the countryside, it Tupiza, was whether we would be able to communicate regularly with family back home. I knew, from our time in Cochabamba, that I could put a chip in my android phone, and get email, etc., but our experience with Skype over the internet at the temple wasn’t always the best. I figured it would only be worse this far out, especially if our only option was going to an internet café to acquire a signal.

In an effort to cover all the bases, a couple of months ago I bought a Nexus 5x phone (thanks to information from our son Sam), and signed up on the Google Fi network. Their FAQ pages indicated that they had service in Bolivia, which I translated to mean La Paz, Cochabamba, and Santa Cruz. Sure enough, as soon as we landed in La Paz, I had service, and was able to contact the Mission President.

When we got to Santa Cruz, it was still working. Good so far. When we arrived in Sucre, it seemed to work at the airport, but not in town. When we got to Tupiza, it appeared to receive a signal, but never attached to a network. At least for the first few days. Along about the third day or so, it connected, and has been pretty reliable since. We’ve skyped over it, with a better connection than we  had in Cochabamba, called home, etc. So, that was a relief. It isn’t always connected, but it is pretty infrequent that it doesn’t work.

On our third day here, I bought an Entel chip to put my old Android phone up on the Bolivian network. And it works fine, too for email and calls within Bolivia. I think I can make international calls as well, but I don’t need to with my other options.

Which brings me to actual internet in our apartment. I was thinking I’d have to have a line pulled, and the owner here indicated that he planned to do that someday. But it costs something like $450 US to do that. Not very reasonable.

President Hansen had referred me to the District Secretary, Eduardo, who he thought would know the best way to do it. So I talked to him, and at his direction bought a tigo(different network here in Bolivia) MiFi. It is a little device (about 3.5 inches long) that pulls its internet signal from satellites. It also has a little battery pack that lasts 5 hours or so. Eduardo assures me it will work out in the most remote parts of Bolivia. It cost about $120 US, but came with $105 US credit, so it nets out at $15 US. Not bad. Our first Skype session with one of the family demonstrated its power – a far better connection than we had in Cochabamba – nearly flawless. And I can take to church with me to download church media or manuals that I may have missed getting downloaded in Spanish as I need them.  Or, when we travel to Cochabamba, I can connect when needed (the trip is a bit longer than 5 hours, unfortunately.)

tigo MiFi - connected to USB power with battery behind it.

At our current usage rate, with half-hour Skype sessions with the kids and parents during the week, it looks like it will turn out to be a bit pricier than internet in the states, but it is well worth it. We’re burning through about $4.50US per day. I don’t know what that amounts to in $/GB, but I’ll figure it out eventually. It’s a pretty nifty little device, and pretty progressive for Bolivia.

So, very good news. Not only are communications with home, kids, parents, etc. doable, they are very fast and reliable.

Getting to Bolivia

[4 February to 5 February 2017]

With our last minute preparations done, washing the last clothes we needed, packing the last items (turns out I forgot my shaver charger – the only thing we have realized was forgotten to this point two weeks into our stay here!), our sweet Becky came with Howie to give us a ride to the airport.

Our sweet daughter Becky

Howie

 
We flew out of Salt Lake for Dallas, and were hosted in First Class. I think it must have been because our visas and flight booking happened late – just on Wednesday of this week, and First Class was all that was available. I won’t bore you with the gory details – a warm, wet washcloth to clean your hands, a cup of warm, mixed nuts, a fresh gourmet salad with broiled chicken, and a hot chocolate chip cookie with milk for desert. All served on china and linens. None of that low class pretzels, paper napkins, and plastic cups with soda pop for us. And, I actually had leg room to spare!

From Dallas to Miami, we got the regular service back in row 30. Cramped, uncomfortable, etc. But it was only a couple of hours.

In Miami, we found out that First Class was even better than the Salt Lake to Dallas route. In addition to the food (way too much – a big dinner at 10:30 pm, and a big breakfast at 4:30 am), we had lie-flat seats, allowing us to actually get a few hours of sleep between meals:
 

Lie flat seating - sleep is possible in First Class

Leg room to spare

Dinner at 10:30 pm

Breakfast at 4:30 am

We arrived in La Paz, Bolivia at about 5:30 am, and just waited in the plane for about an hour. They had to inspect everything and allow the additional passengers to board before flying to Santa Cruz.


When we arrived in Santa Cruz, we went through customs, got some Bolivianos (my Utah First debit card got retained for a bad expiration date [not] – good thing I planned for a backup with my  Wells Fargo Debit card) and then went to the BOA (Bolivian Airlines) counter to get our tickets to Sucre. We were hoping to get the 9:15 flight, since the next flight left at 12:20. When we got to the counter, it was 9:10, but the flight was delayed, so we were allowed to get tickets for that one. That allowed us to get to Sucre by about 11:00 am, where we met President and Sister Hansen.

They took us to lunch, but due to the food on the airplane, we really didn’t have a big appetite. Then we headed for Tupiza with them in the mission SUV. We took naps and visited with President and Sister Hansen. It was really quite an enjoyable ride. Unfortunately, I only got one picture:

We drove through Potosi, and arrived in Tupiza at about 7:00 pm. The Hansens put us up at the Hotel Mitru – reportedly the best hotel in Tupiza, where we unpacked enough to get some rest. We still didn’t feel much like eating, so we just grabbed some yogurt (the good, drinkable kind), took a quick walk around the motel neighborhood to get a feel for Tupiza, then went back to the motel went to bed for some needed sleep.

We’re happy to be here. Here’s a picture of the motel property. We’re happy to be here.

The MTC in Provo

[30 January to 3 February 2017]

Our week at the MTC was uplifting, encouraging, fun, spiritual, inspiring and just long enough. By the end, all of us Senior missionaries were anxious and ready to get out to our assignments. 

There were about 40 couples and about 8 single sisters, all of us going to different areas of the world. The biggest group was assigned to the Salt Lake headquarters mission, some to family history, others weren't sure yet and would find out when they got there. This is about a third of the entire group - the third with us in it:

This was our district - the Ellefsons and the Easterbrooks, and two of our teachers, Elder Webber and Sister Nelson:

One couple found out three weeks ago that they were going to Athens, Greece. One couple was going to Hawaii. He builds cabinets and is going to help at the Polynesian Cultural Center building cabinets. Many of us, like us, were going to serve as Member Leader Support missionaries.

Each day started at 8 and ended about 4. We had meetings all together and had class room sessions in the morning and afternoon. Each class was a district and consisted of 3 or four couples. Our district was made up of 3 couples. One of them, the Easterbrooks, had visited Bolivia when their son finished his mission. So they were eager to talk to us about their Bolivia experiences and compare them to ours.

Our teachers were amazing. They were four young, energetic, wonderful return missionaries. They did so well to teach us how to be missionaries and to inspire us. Our morning teachers were Sister Zonk and Sister Clark. Our afternoon teachers were Sister Nelson and Brother Weber. They really made the MTC experience fun as well as relative. I found that as we went through our training experiences and even our role plays, something would touch me that I needed to do right now before we left for our mission. The MTC is a wonderful place, full of the Spirit and a lot of beautiful young people. It was fun to be with them. We got to eat in the cafeteria with all the missionaries. One day a young elder came up to us while we were eating. It was our very own Elder Michael Bown. What a treat! He looked so good and happy. He is going to Japan and was only halfway through his MTC experience with 5 weeks left to go. Michael was one of our "sons" when we went on trek. He and his family are very dear friends. We got to see him one other time and this time we went over and surprised him. The trouble was, I jumped up to hug him and he had to stop me. Here is our schedule of the week as it was displayed on the big screen, so we could review and evaluate. 

This is Charles:

The emphasis was on learning how to teach from Preach My Gospel. They treated us just like we were young missionaries, going out to proselyte, even though that won't be our primary focus. Not having used Preach My Gospel as a missionary 42 years ago, the approach was quite different, but very effective, and very enjoyable. 

These young returned missionaries started by emphasizing the Missionary Purpose, which starts:

To invite others to come unto Christ...

Then, for us, with our different focus, they pointed out that "others" could be members, non-members, inactive members, or even ourselves. As I pondered that, I came to realize that that simple invitation really lies at the heart of all we should be doing in the church - helping everyone to Come unto Christ. The gospel contains the truths, the ordinances and covenants, and the assurance that through Christ's Atonement, we truly can Come unto Him, find peace and joy in this life, and happiness in the world to come.